“It is early morning, the sky looks silvery, the sun has not yet risen, and a soft breeze is blowing over my face. How fresh everything seems to be!

Today, I feel I’m alone. I have no need to hide it any longer, I can cry because I know there is no one to look at me, I can yell because no one wishes me well. The first twenty-one years of my life accomplished, I ponder upon the cherished moments I have spend with my family and friends for the very last time. I smile as I remember when my brother was born, when my sister topped in her boards but slowly my smile fades away. My cherished and treasured moments don’t have ME! Where am “I”? I slowly realize that I have never lived for “myself”. It’s forever been you, she, he, and they. I have only lived for people’s expectations and demands, how they want things, what they feel, how they treat me, how they looked at me, if they felt I was pretty. I forgot that I had a life of my own where I didn’t need to impress or exist for others.

But I don’t want to face the fact that I botched in the game of life and tears roll down my cheeks in grief. Youth had to be a magnificent experience however for me it has turned into a road of misery. I always wanted to be an all rounder, a good student as well as a good athlete but I guess my idea of attaining perfection has led me to depression. The strong pressure put on me to do exceptionally well in “everything” has degraded my confidence and self-esteem.

Today what I have written is my twenty-one years of pain and the lack of love in my life has made me dull. This dullness in turn has affected my life so much that now I feel I’m just unlucky that nobody is happy with me and I can never do anything. So basically I stand nowhere in this competitive world, my existence is negligible.”

This is just a page of my diary or any child’s diary who suffers from depression and bullying. Childhood is an age for joy and happiness and not needed to be surrounded by enormous clouds of despair. People think bullying and depression is sadness, people think it’s aloneness, people think its dark but people are wrong. Bullying and depression is a projection of being unique, courageous, heroic, and ebullient because they made a choice and raised their voice to be themselves.

Written by: Anmol
Posted On: Categories:Miss World Canada

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